just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My legs feel like baby dolphins
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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