Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
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Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
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I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
The Olympian is in my bed
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
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