im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
This is my gift to your gina
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
