They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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