I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
