I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
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