Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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