i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
