Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
