on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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