I wish I could punch you in the face.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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