someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
