he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
