Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
