Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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