i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
