No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
