and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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