he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
