I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
