That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
