Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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