as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
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Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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