I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize