god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
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No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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