i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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