Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
