I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
