shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Randomize
