I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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