Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
