I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize