I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
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