I wanna bring you to show and tell
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
