Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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