I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Randomize
