all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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