bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
