what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
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Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
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Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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