I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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