glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
