There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
