You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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