he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You pole danced in your parka.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
the raccoons are back...
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