I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
