Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
