I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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