Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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