New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
