so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
