so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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