i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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