Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just gargled with NyQuil
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
