yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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