he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
