You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
i now understand why vodka
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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