just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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