he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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